Rejected/ejected
My baby has come home.. still unfulfilled. "Touching Wood" is still gloriously underground. God bless you, I still have maximum street cred. I love you you fuckers.
On an uplifting note however, I have just written and recorded the first "Alan Neilson" song for many years.
It's called "Wish You Were Her"... a mid-life crisis in full flow and for all the world to see.. don't you just love to see a mind slowly deteriorating.
Have you heard of Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Here are the DISORDER SYMPTOMS :
-Grandiose sense of self-importance
-Preoccupied with fantasies about unlimited successes
-Believes self to be "special"
-Requires excessive admiration
-Has a sense of entitlement
-Is interpersonally exploitative
-Lacks empathy
-Is often envious
-Displays arrogant, haughty behaviour
The Mental Health Foundation website says at least three of the symptoms of the disorder need to be present to confirm a diagnosis on a patient. Ha, ha ,ha... only 3!! I can pick out about 7 from that fuckin list!! But I am at the very least a realist above all other things, and although I joke about this shit, I do appreciate more than anything the necessity to work hard for every tiny victory.
Therefore when someone says they cried because of the beauty of one of my songs, that is a tiny victory, but my feet are still planted on the ground. Thanks Marie.
On an uplifting note however, I have just written and recorded the first "Alan Neilson" song for many years.
It's called "Wish You Were Her"... a mid-life crisis in full flow and for all the world to see.. don't you just love to see a mind slowly deteriorating.
Have you heard of Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Here are the DISORDER SYMPTOMS :
-Grandiose sense of self-importance
-Preoccupied with fantasies about unlimited successes
-Believes self to be "special"
-Requires excessive admiration
-Has a sense of entitlement
-Is interpersonally exploitative
-Lacks empathy
-Is often envious
-Displays arrogant, haughty behaviour
The Mental Health Foundation website says at least three of the symptoms of the disorder need to be present to confirm a diagnosis on a patient. Ha, ha ,ha... only 3!! I can pick out about 7 from that fuckin list!! But I am at the very least a realist above all other things, and although I joke about this shit, I do appreciate more than anything the necessity to work hard for every tiny victory.
Therefore when someone says they cried because of the beauty of one of my songs, that is a tiny victory, but my feet are still planted on the ground. Thanks Marie.
posted by Alan Theodore E Rex at Wednesday, June 29, 2005
1 Comments:
Another rejection then... the fools... [insert comic-book bad-guy smirk here]
I mean, it's not your fault your working class! They can probably smell the burnt toast and baked beans on your printer paper...
Seriously though - it's taken me more than ten years to see that 'who you know' really is half the work...
Again you've reminded me that it's been almost a year since I submitted anything to an agent.
Today a friend sent me a link to www.mandy.com . It's a database of TV / film type job stuff. It might be worth a look? I got over-excited when I spotted a few writing jobs, including some entry level stuff, and one that's just a couple of streets away from my hovel.
So I started sifting through my hard drive for suitable 'samples' but after a while I just had to stop, because I reaized that being rejected by the establishment all this time has simply made me write more [what else could I do ?] and so I've amassed so much 'stuff'... there just isn't time to go through it all. And then there's all the things I've written in long-hand that I might never get round to typing up...
"Curse you God for making me this way!"
I'm not sure if I have a point here, but I guess it's that I think I'd probably have less material if someone had actually published something I wrote?
I know you won't, but don't you dare give up.
See you soon Al!
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