Four brief pumps and a squirt

From X Factor to Extractor. The ride is over; short and sweet.. but I felt my heart pumping in my chest, as if to confirm that I am still alive... it is said that everyday you should do something that scares the skids onto your underpants.. well consider me skid marked for life.

I sang Elvis C's "Watching the Detectives" so sweetly and yet apparently there was no X in my factor, and so adios... I now feel as if I have passed a test - I am not a fake, I am not a media prostitute, I did not shout I have the X factor for the camera crew (nor did I ever think it)... I think my factor is slightly more 'y' or possibly 'f'.

You'll laugh

Tomorrow I will be selling my soul to the devil.. ha, ha. I am dragging myself to auditions for the new X Factor series. I have seen that dull, middle-aged men seem to win these competitions and logic suggests that I have a better chance of winning than the next person (unless the next person is Bryan Adams).

This is like rollarcoaster; a 6 hour queue followed by 20 seconds of feeling sick and having someone turn your guts upside down.. I can't wait!

I know what you're thinking.. I am anti-establishment; an anarchist; a P.I.L. popping, yellow-toothed, orange sideburned, post-punk tinged dude, who wouldn't drop dung on Messers Cowell at al, if they were sunburnt. However, I want to feel alive; and if it takes something as shallow as this charade to make my heart pump, by god, I will do it.

I have no illusions or pretensions, but I think this will be a thrilling, if not brief, ride.

Mailman bring me no more blues

Touching Wood takes its next trip to London.. sometimes I wish I could go along and hold it's little hand in that big bad city.. all alone.

Rejection no.6

In case you are still counting.

As Ed Harcourt once sang: "I don't mind if I lose, cos if I win I'll get so confused." Well that's where I am and how I feel today.

Bad news is the new "no news".. and as you know, no news is good news.. so I'm practically ecstatic.

Sometimes I read or listen to work I've done months ago, and can't remember actually producing it.. it feels like someone else was in there pulling the strings, or with a hand up my back working my mouth and eyes.

Al